Dead By Drowning of a MacBook Air

macbookairThings around here haven’t been all that great lately. Why? Because I accidentally drowned my three-month-old. No, not a baby…I’m a little old for birthing a baby, my friends. I drowned my MacBook Air and I’ve been discombobbled ever since. Yeah.

I spilled a half a cup of hot black tea with Splenda and fat-free half and half on my little darling. She screamed in pain (yeah, that’s what it sounded like, although perhaps what I heard was my very own shriek) and passed out. I flipped her upside down and gave her the Heimlich (with tea splatting everywhere), but she remained unconscious.

Knowing time was of the essence I texted my son, Mr. Fix-It Eagle Scout. He texted me back, offering his sincere sympathy but no firm advice. I quickly texted my son’s good buddy Buddha (yeah, he is pretty chill. And big. He’s big.). He works as a tech at a local Apple Store. His advice? Flip her upside down (so any remaining liquid doesn’t keep “rusting” her components) and leave her be. Hopefully, she’ll turn back on after a few days. Trusting his advice, that’s what I did.

For days I circled my baby. She looked like a metal pup tent sitting on my desk. After day three I tried to turn her back on, but I didn’t see any signs of life. She appeared dead, like really, really dead. I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t write. So I left for a week’s vacation.

When I got back? I plugged my MacBook Air infant in and … she wheezed to life. Sure, she sounds like she has emphysema, but at least she’s conscious. Will she survive for very long? Sadly? No. Her components are compromised and it would take the equivalent of open-heart surgery (and the dollars that requires) to clean her up … with no guarantee she won’t die on me mid-novel at some future point.

So I broke down and purchased a new baby, another MacBook Air. But my new baby? She’s still wrapped in swaddling cellophane and lying in a manger her box. I’m afraid to pick her up. Start all over.

Next week is the week of new beginnings for us Christians. The week of a precious baby’s birth. A miracle. Perhaps next week I’ll have the courage to pick up my new baby and begin again. We’ll see.

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6 Responses to Dead By Drowning of a MacBook Air

  1. and that, my friends, is why I use an iMac.
    well, that and other reason.
    But yes, I did the same thing twice–iced tea the first time, lemonaid the second.

  2. Lisa Tognola says:

    I feel your pain. My computer died this year too. My new MacBook Air is this year’s vacation. 🙁

  3. Mary Louise Hogarty says:

    My daughter accidentally dumped her iPhone into the washing machine with her load of laundry. She was told to put it in a bag with rice for several days which she did. I would like to tell you that it worked, but it didn’t. Soaked, drowned, dead is dead! No resuscitation worked so the only thing to do was bite the bullet and buy another. Expensive mistake!!!!

  4. Hamza Hassan says:

    Hello Ms. Darlene,

    I hope you are doing well. I’m not sure whether or not you are the same Darlene Sneden who wrote the wonderful story “Help with the laundry,” from a recently published book by the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, Touched By An Angel. The story, however, touched my heart and soothed my soul in a very positive way.

    Best wishes,
    Hamza Hassan
    Saudi Arabia

    • Hello Hamza,
      Why, yes, I am she. How very thoughtful of you to search for me and leave such a positive comment. Many, many thanks!

      • Hamza Hassan says:

        My heart shattered in million tiny pieces for your father’s death and for the huge void his death left in your lives, especially when your sisters used to see pennies from Heaven as constant reminders of your beloved father while you had seen nothing. I was sinking in a sea of emotions when you miraculously saw the eight shiny quarters fill every slot on the 2 washing machines. When God leads us to the edge of the cliff, we need to understand that either He will carry us or teach us how to fly. His Angels are never too distant from us to offer their help. They are reminders that our late loved ones are still connected to earth and they are somehow watching over us from there. Letting go is a part of healing process. Wishing you a very blessed holiday season with your family and friends,

        All the best,

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